Dinnertime

The inspiration for this poem…

I wrote this poem to help let go of an incident that I couldn’t get out of my mind. It was about a beautifully appointed table being overturned, which literally turned over the table of my innocence. In that moment I was forced to face the harsh reality that someone I was supposed to be able to trust was losing control. When a person loses control they may never know how that impacts any innocent party forced to witness it. Those people who cannot control themselves often have way more control than they should over others, especially those dependent on them. Writing this poem was the first of many steps toward understanding how someone else’s grief had been laid on me. It helped me get this moment outside of myself so I could look at it, grieve it, understand it, and see my way to go on. It taught me a lot about the relationship with that person and how I would need to navigate life around them. When I have said that poetry helped to “save my life” this is one example of exactly how that happened and one of the reasons I was compelled to share this book. It’s also one reason why this book was chosen to be placed in the graduation bags of women graduating from the Women and Children’s Alliance training program. It is also the reason I have donated hundreds of books to numerous domestic violence shelters. All those things helped me let go of this incident. I hope sharing this story helps others let go of their own difficult memories, and helps some understand what that takes.

Writing/Meditation Prompts:

• What “turned the table” on your innocence? When was the moment you had to face a harsh reality?

• Have you been the one to set the beautiful table only to have it turned, have you been a witness to something like that, or have you ever been the one to flip the table?

• Has someone else’s grief ever spilled over onto you (or vice versa)? How did that affect you or how did you protect yourself?

• How would you describe a harrowing feeling that “skewered” your hope: i.e. going from being cradled to teetering on an edge, “sliding down a dusty pane”, walking a beaten path, etc.??

• Take the image of a table as a metaphor for your life. What has been set on your table? Did you set it, or does someone else have that power? Sometimes we need to turn the table over on our own lives and start again. How are you with the table that has been set?

• Do you need to share your writing with someone, maybe someone who shared your experience or could bear witness to what you experienced?Remember, writing it down allows you to see it again, and work it through if even just for ourselves.