Life After Death

The inspiration for this poem…

This is one of the few poems I wrote for my mom. She was someone who stayed under the radar and often asked me to do the same. While I did for a long time, there came a time when I refused. This represents how my heart held out hope for her to find a way to really live as she was meant to. To my knowledge she never got there as Alzheimers’s claimed her 12 years before she passed away leaving here with no words. However, as it was slowly laying claim to her, my father would walk into the care center where she was then living and she’d say loudly, “Who is that guy in the hat who keeps showing up here? He doesn’t know me, get him outta here!” I took some consolation in concurring with her that he didn’t really know all of her even though they met at 4 years old and lived many lives together. They loved each other all that they could. But, I always thought he might go before her and she might live out some of what’s spelled out in this poem even if it was just to smell a tulip with more gusto than ever before. I hope somewhere she finally has found a way to do so. Moral of the story: Don’t live life unlived. Don’t leave things unsaid.

A version of this poem was published in Standing: Poetry by Idaho Women, 2005.

Writing/Meditation Prompts:

• If you unburdened your burdens & burned bridges that went nowhere, what would you do with your life? Would it be anything different than what you are doing?

• How will you have all the moments you really want to have?? How will you avoid letting your life slip away?

• What have you built the 1st half of your life on? And if you are so fortunate, what will you build the 2nd half on?

• Are you smelling, feeling, and breathing it all in? What kind of face will house your crow’s feet, what kind of heartbeat will you march to?

• What do you have to say to your younger self? Older self? A close friend or family member? Say it all.